Eleanor is 10 days old today. We celebrated by making her favorite meal, several times.
One thing I remember now about holding a newborn is the juxtaposition of my strength with the newborn's helplessness. I feel so protective of her, and in a sense afraid of my own strength. I understand better the common storyline of a great monster befriending a human, and clumsily aiding in that humans affairs. I used to resonate with the human, now I resonate with the monster.
It's a lively house, now that there are two kids. Howie was already becoming increasingly vocal, filling the house with nonstop babble, and frequent grabs for attention. Couple that with a new competitor for attention, and I can see how things are gonna get interesting real fast.
Two kids feels like more of the family atmosphere for me. There are now as many kids as adults (or more, depending on how you categorize me), which makes me feel more like part of a group.
I also sense my role in life becoming humbler. I remember when Katie and I got engaged, feeling like I was the hottest headline in the country. I was in the spotlight, I was the thing to be excited about. With Howie came a shift. He was now the hot news, the thing to be excited about. I could feel my role as a headliner fading into obsolescence. Now with two, the feeling's even more pronounced. They are the big news. My new role is as caretaker to the two hottest headlines in the country. It's a privilege and a joy to be such, and I'm quite excited about them. When I look at them, I don't want to be in the spotlight any more, I want them to be.
As I write, Eleanor is sleeping by our bed in her bassinet, and cooing. So cute. Katie is sleeping too. Soon I'll be sleeping, and they'll be up having a snack. Fun times ahead!